#RushingBull:

   One day two bulls were standing atop a tall hill overlooking the rest of the herd…

 

   The Young Bull says to the Old Bull “Hey, why don’t we RUN down that hill and have a good time with a few of those cows?”

 

   … The Old Bull replies “Why don’t we WALK* down that hill and have a good time with ALL* of those cows?”

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#BathtubFishing:

   There once was an old man fishing in his bathtub…

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   This distressed his family a great deal, no “right thinking person” would go fishing in their bathtub 

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   … they tried to ask him what he was doing, but he would remain silent and just kept fishing…

 

   Eventually they tried to get help and brought his friends over, and they offered to go down by the lake to their favorite spot to see what they might catch… but to no avail…

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   … they brought the priest from church over, and he offered to take him out on a deep sea fishing trip to appreciate the majesty of god’s creation… But still the man sat silent, staring at his bobber

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   … they invited the psychologist in, briefly informed him of the situation, and brought him to the bathroom where the man was fishing as expected

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   … The psychologist stood by the door for a long minute observing… After a healthy silence had settled in, he finally asked “are you getting any bites?”

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   … and the old man shouted “OF COURSE NOT, ITS A BATHTUB YOU FOOL!!“ 

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#BlackNWhite:

   A boy and his father were out walking in the woods when they came across a white wolf and a black wolf fighting each other… 

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   … The boy asked “Dad, which one will win?” 

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   … the father responded “Whichever one you feed son” 

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   … So the boy gave some food to each and tamed them both

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#Overboard:

   You’re about to go on a sea voyage and you’re trying to figure out whether you should bring your friend Empathy, or your friend Sympathy…

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   First you consider bringing your friend Empathy: … you know you can count on them, and if you fall overboard, they will be sure to jump in the water with you so that you don’t drown alone 

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   Then you consider perhaps bringing your friend Sympathy: … they might be a little bit colder, but they are just as reliable as the first friend, and even if they’re not willing to jump in the water with you, they will go and get a rope and life jacket

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#GurdjieffsHole:

   Day 1: I am walking down the Street, there is a hole, I don’t see it… I fall in, it’s not my fault… it takes me a LONG time to get out, but I do, and I move on…

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   Day 2: I am walking down the street, there is a hole, I see it… I fall in, it’s not my fault… I get out QUICKLY, and I move on…

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   Day 3: I’m walking down the street, I see the hole… I fall in, it IS my fault… I get out and I move on

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   Day 4: I’m walking down the street, and I see the hole… I go AROUND the hole… I move on

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   Day 5: I walk down a different street.

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#StingingBuddha:

   One day Buddha was sitting by a lake meditating… after an hour, a scorpion wandered into the water…

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   …The Buddha got up, went over and saved the scorpion, and then got stung for his efforts…

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   …Buddha went back to meditating… 

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   After another 30 minutes, the scorpion again wandered into the water… Buddha got up, saved it again, and again was stung…

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   …Buddha went back to meditating… 

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   …Not but 15 minutes later, the scorpion again wandered into the lake… 

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   …The Buddha got up, but before he could walk over to the scorpion, a villager in a field nearby who had seen this all going on, stopped him…

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   “Venerable Sir, why are you going to pick up that scorpion again, you know it’s just going to sting you again??” 

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   …The Buddha said “Of course… it is the nature of a scorpion to sting, just as it is the nature of a Human to save.”

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#YogiLife:

   One day, towards the end of his life, an old monk decides to make his way up the mountain and find out what yogi knows…

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   … after he makes his way to the top of the mountain, he finally finds the Yogi and approaches him …

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   “Hello sir, I’m old but I still feel I don’t understand life, and I’ve come to see what you can tell me”

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   …The Yogi returned the man’s greeting and sat down for a moment of meditation. No sooner does he sit down then he is overcome in a rupture of bliss and ecstasy… 

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   …he promptly stands up and says “It is the scent of jasmine on the summer breeze” 

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   …The old monk, understandably impressed, takes a moment to consider this “… But… sir, I don’t understand.” 

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   …The Yogi replies “That’s Life”

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#TheForest:

   There is a classic “scary dark forest” with winding trails all through it, and that has quite the reputation for being both scary and dark, and people who want to test their courage will adventure out into it…

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   ...Now, living out in this forest are two beings, both of whomst’d’ve KNOW there is nothing scary out in those woods, and sometimes to make a few bucks they will go to the trailhead and guide some adventurers through the trails…

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   First, we have the Dark Troll... When the adventurer meets the Dark Troll, they say “I want to be unafraid out in the woods”. The Dark Troll will then collect their fee and say “follow me” and lead them off into the darkness..

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   ...along the way, the Dark Troll will startle at every breaking twig, ask “did you hear that?!” when they hear nothing, and generally play on the adventurer’s own expectation of “dark and scary”...

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   ...Then, just when the Dark Troll has led the adventurer into the deepest parts of the forest, they will run away back to their bridge and abandon the adventurer to their fear and anxiety, leaving them to find their way back, as the Dark Troll laughs at their torment the whole way home…

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   Next we have the Light Troll... when an adventurer finds them, they again say “I want to be unafraid of the forest”, the Light Troll will say “alright then, let’s go find the scary in the forest so we can make you not afraid of it”...

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   The adventurer tries to pay, but the Light Trolls says “I won’t charge you for something you don’t use, you can pay once we find the scary thing” and the Light Troll hands the adventurer their flashlight, points the way, and follows close behind…

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   Along the way, the Light Troll keeps the adventurer company and offers path suggestions as they meet forks in the trail, and makes sure the adventurer shines the light all over, checking the woods the whole way…

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   ...eventually as their adventure wears on, the adventurer starts to recognize different portions of the forest. The adventurer then says “I think we’ve covered this WHOLE forest, and I don’t think there IS anything scary out here?”.

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   ...to which the Light Troll replies “you’re welcome, I’d accept $10 for the flashlight”.

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